And just yesterday he got the second dose of his shots. Walking around the paediatrician's clinic, seeing so many day-old infants, I looked at my little one and couldn't believe that once, he was that tiny too! I had to scroll up on my camera roll to remind myself of how he looked when he was a newborn baby!
Most of his snaps from then have his eyes shut in sweet slumber, now his big eyes twinkle with the spark of inquisitiveness and innocent joy. He was lean, and his head stood out; now his thighs have become muscular from his regular air-kicking and his cheeks chubbier. There was no inkling of a smile back then, and often there would even be a furrowed eyebrow-look and now, we could smile-talk all day! His movements were limited to his neck, flopping from one side to the other; now he uses his hands to grip onto the bamboo cloth he's lying on, when I pick him up, he carries it like his "Batman" cape, he uses the strength of his legs to push backward, and now while doing his push-ups, even rolls over. The eyes that couldn't focus back then, now light up when he sees familiar toys/people and he can even maintain an animated conversation with them. While I'm typing this out, he is in fact, making his shit-face intermittently and probably sharing tales from his night dreams to the blue and red patterns on the quilt.
He's definitely grown and the speed at which that's happening - I'm finding hard to keep pace! And as time is flying, I realise we barely do anything to document his growth and development, save for clicking so many snaps every day, which until some weeks ago were being auto-saved onto the cloud but now even that is filled up! So, I'm still hunting for creative solutions for managing the thousands of photos that we've clicked so far.
(Ok, I'm back after changing his poop-filled diaper - and he's engaged in his morning yoga now - he does the Snake Pose 'Bhujangasana' better than me!)
(Forgive me for losing my train of thought...)
In the meantime, life is happening...there are days, I still envisage it all right from the beginning. How at one point in time, he was just a product of fertilisation, when a half of my genes united with another half from my dear husband, and formed the helix, within which lay the power to design and produce a complete human being! It's miraculous if one would think about it - that the data which is to code for the colour of our hair, our skin, our iris, the length of our fingers, the shape of our nose, ears and well, everything else from head to toe, including genetic predisposition to diseases- is all stacked within that very microscopic structure - the DNA helix.
And then I behold at the bonny baby in front of my eyes - unbelievable! To know that we created him from scratch- sometimes, my head spins at the thought! At other times, I'm just overwhelmed with a warm feeling, running through my veins, and filling my heart up. Research says a mother's brain changes post birth of her child, and it gets wired to nurture and take care of her infant - that's how nature bestows upon an unassuming woman(who 10 lunar months ago was waxing poetry at the sunset skyscape at Krabi, while having coffee-tequila shots!) the much-assumed-about 'maternal instinct'.
This instinct wakes me up in the middle of the night, at the stir of my baby. This instinct makes me stay up till early morning, rocking my baby to sleep. This instinct makes every mother believe that their baby is precious and is the cutest of them all. This instinct makes us give the baby our all, even when we can't sit on our freshly stitched bottoms, even when our backs and arms are sore, even when our heads are splitting and our eyes are red from the lack of sleep. We might be fighting many battles within and on the outside too, but when we pick our baby in our arms, we know only to cuddle and adore. This instinct shows us in the mirror a person we've never known existed within us.
I get to type the last para while my husband takes over baby duty, while I get some me-time. I wonder how things will change once I head back to work, how I'll leave a piece of heart, back at home, everyday and get into the 'working mom' shoes. But those are questions for another day. Until I'm a 'stay at home mom', I'll enjoy and cherish every moment with him. I'll let the 'maternal instinct' take on first gear, and continue to do what I can do best - love him.
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