Warm January Weekends

Working in the emergency department makes one lose sense of day and time often, so much so one doesn't really long for weekends and thank God it's Friday! We do leave socialising for our weekly off days, which could land on any day of the week - well often, because everyone else is busy over the week, I'd just laze around at home, obsess in the kitchen while flicking pages of a fictional novel.

But things are different now, ever since my maternity leave commenced in late September 2016. I can't even figure how time flew past and we're already in the next year. A part of me wishes time would slow down and let things sink in completely! For beginners, I still haven't got the chance to scratch out the 2016 on wrongful entry in a notebook, and correct it to read 2017; haha! Those were the days!

January has since passed and I crossed the mid-way mark of my maternity leave.  Save for the first week, when we were still holidaying with the family, in Bali, we were on our own with our 3-month old baby, Ayu. I was a stay-at-home mom, by choice; as I was adamant that I would like to spend the first 6 months with the newborn and hopefully be able to exclusively breastfeed, as is paediatrician-recommended. Prantik (Pran, as I call him) my husband was back to the grind, once we were back from our family holiday in Bali, to celebrate mum's 50th birthday (Ayu completed 100 days since birth, while we celebrated 25 months since #socialshaadi - our wedding). Essentially, it meant, weekends were to look forward to! Not to say, we didn't get quality time otherwise, but oh well, as human beings, we always long for more...

Weekend 1

Jan 1 landed on a Sunday, which meant the New Year began with a long weekend. We arrived in Bali on the afternoon of NYE. Later that evening, we had lovely family dinner at a quaint Greek restaurant which served amazingly fresh food that made one's palate yearn for more. Beach bums that we all are, we chose to spend the morning hours of the first day of new year at the Seminyak beach. To be by the deep and wide ocean, is always a humbling experience for it reminds one that - what you throw into the ocean of life, finds a way to come right back at you - talk about karma!; beneath the surface, there are so many oysters hidden; even the mightiest ships can be wrecked by the force of nature - so always remember, that after a point, there isn't much under our control - we can only propose, the Higher Force disposes! The vast ocean always makes me feel grateful for the present moment, and completely surrender. That evening, we witnessed the first sunset of the year, from Tanah Lot - and it was to behold! 

Weekend 2

Back in Jakarta, when Ayu was still taking the bottle 🍼 (yes, he's gotten fussy now and is completely refusing it - but I should rant about that in a different post!), gave us good time to bond with the 'bruhhh'. We got foot reflexology sessions together; had a fun stint at ice-skating after hogging the all-time Pizza Hut favourite: Soup-Salad; shopped till we dropped; played card games like Bluff and Rummy, while downing 'Green Sands' soda; and had fun contests and conversations in the swimming pool when we felt chilling in the jacuzzi was too mainstream. We were a good trio that worked as a team aboard the flight back to Singapore, when Ayu threw a fit and had to be pacified earnestly. The first Sunday back in SG, the one with the bro in town, meant we had to celebrate with yummy succulent Michelin-starred 'Din Tai Fung' dumplings! (I will skip elaborating on the fuss that Ayu made but that was after we were done with our meal and grocery shopping, so, phew!)

Weekend 3

This weekend saw us at the 'Happy Marketer' jacuzzi-sunset party at the (Sr.) Dayal residence. It was good fun to meet the #HappyTribe and also to introduce Ayu to them and their families; and a feathery visitor too that evening. There was much fun and banter over kebabs, 'chaat' and drinks. A rather-sleepy Ayu even featured in their first 'HappyHourLive' video, for the year, and so did the parrot, believed to bring in good luck. Sunday, we just chilled, with the cousin (with the fractured foot) and binged on Netflix. The pick for the weekend, after much deliberation, was 'Stories by Rabindranath Tagore'. Under the able direction of Anurag Basu, backed by some splendid cinematography, the short stories by the Nobel laureate, came alive before us. Such a pleasure to watch. 

Weekend 4 

Despite the drizzle, we were on board the Le Tara yacht, with our gang of friends, to celebrate the Shuklas' 10th wedding anniversary. We had a potluck feast on board with pizza, pasta, fried rice, chicken tikkas and pepper chicken; & loads of drinks too (I had a bottle of freshly squeezed sugarcane juice for myself ;) ). Ayu was perfect that evening, sleeping just at the right times, allowing Pran and myself to grab a bite and sip at will; pose and click many snaps; and make merry with the folks at the deck, grooving to desi numbers and enjoying the wind and tide, with fire crackers lighting up the evening sky in the distance. The after party at the Khannas' residence saw us all lol-ing way past midnight. After such an action-packed Saturday, Sunday was meant for cooling down. We lazed and brazed with the incessant Singapore rain, with warm cutlets, enjoying our cuppa, watching 'Koffee with Karan, and cheering for Team India against England, in the Cricket ODI match, later in the evening.

Weekend 5

The last weekend of January was also a long weekend, thanks to the Chinese New Year. And it was one of those rare weekends, where 'twas just us. We dropped previous holidaying plans thanks to exorbitant hotel and flight rates and decided to stay put at home and make the most of the last weekend prior to our India trip. So we celebrated Ayu's 4th month with 'Gurer Paayesh' (my first attempt); picked up small gifts for extended family back home from a mall nearby; spent CNY day 1, all of us dressed in matching hues of red, strolling by the lakeside, at the Chinese Garden; kept up with our CNY tradition and visited our old neighbourhood at Dover, Rochester Park; had a lovely lunch date at Dempsey, smiling through our sparkling water glasses, over flavourful Italian food (not pizza/pasta), across the red-rose laden table for two. We got back to enjoy a sporty evening: Roger vs Rafa AO final & the Ind-End T20 match; from the comforts of our couch, while taking turns at the OSIM massage chair and sharing our favourite moments from the weekend on InstaStory, our latest addiction.

I type this while the sun rises, heralding my first weekend in Bangalore. I feel warmed by all the love I'm surrounded with - family, my 4am-go-to-people, my parents and my never-failing-to-surprise younger brother; work colleagues and friends like family; my favourite munchkin and punchbag, my bff and bae, my love forever, @pranmaz; and the latest addition to my heart's treasure chest, my genetic legacy, my newest muse, my one true love, #AyuBabu. I bow down to the Universe, for sending such wonderful vibes my way; and to thee for reading and sharing these happy moments with me. 

The Miracle - gets showered with 'showers'

So, I haven't really got around to understand why they are called 'baby showers' - for there is no 'baby' persay save for the baby bump but oh well, it is 'showering' well wishes so perhaps that.

Anyways, I was born into a Konkani family and married into a Bengali one. I've always maintained that having a inter-cultural marriage lets us have the best of both worlds and what can I say? The unborn baby had just that! Not one or two, but three baby showers! (Woot!)

The "Saadh" as the Bengali baby shower is called, is usually celebrated in the 5th, 7th and 9th months of pregnancy. Here, the pregnant woman's favourite dishes are prepared and a feast is laid down for her to enjoy. It's usually an all-ladies' affair :D My in-laws visited us during my 5th and 9th months so the timing was just perfect! They even brought me new saris to wear for the occasion - had a nice cotton silk sari in blue with golden zari border, topped with beaded gold jewellery for my first "Saadh", while for the last one, when I was heavily pregnant, I draped a pink Dhakai/Jamdani sari, with some golden, pearl and stone studded jewellery. The blue and pink was purely a coincidence, I think! 

The first "Saadh" was low-key, just us and a close Bengali friend of mine. It began with invoking God's blessings followed by blessing me, and feeding me 'Paayesh'. After that, our banana leaf lined plates were filled with some amazing variety of food, painstakingly made by the dear mother-in-law. 

Baby Shower #1

The next baby shower or the "Kapada Aarti" was when I was 7 months pregnant, and by then I definitely was 'showing'. My parents were transiting via Singapore, and there couldn't be a better time for the ceremony. This time, 'twas just my parents, hubby and me. It began with my husband and me being seated, with platters of fruits and sweets in front of us; my mother then blessed us with the light from a silver diya (which by tradition, is to be used later, while celebrating the birthdays of the (unborn) baby) and sprinkling of rice grains ('akshata') and fed us a sweet, each. She then gifted me a new orange-green Mysore silk sari to change into; following which she gave me in the 'sari pallu' a coconut & 'haldi-kumkum'. But the best part of all these ceremonies is obviously the 'maa ke haath ka khaana' (food cooked by mum). Despite having traveled all night, my darling mum made some of my all-time favourite stuff, including a 'Totapuri Mango Ghashi' (coconut-based mango dessert). We enjoyed the lavish treat right off a banana leaf, and I couldn't stop at just one jalebi! Duh! 

Baby Shower #2

Last but not the least (as the cliche goes), was the one when I was BIG! Just about 2-3 weeks away from my expected date of delivery, my lady friends and aunts were invited to partake in the "Godh Bharai". My dear mother-in-law hosted it all, and this was in fact the first gathering at our new home, so that was exciting too. Blessings were seeked from the elders and I was bestowed with heart-felt wishes, hugs and some gifts too - Ooh La La! My favourite was from a couple of my friends, who got me a navy blue maternity/nursing dress, which I've worn so many times already! Thanks much y'all. The feast that followed, included amongst other yummy curries, 9 fried items, as is the custom (there were 5 at my 5th month 'Saadh') and 'Gurer Payesh' - rice pudding with jaggery, which was amazing. It was indeed a heart-warming afternoon and I'm grateful to all for making it memorable. 

Baby Shower #3

Thanks to all the love and blessings, I had a relatively smooth delivery with no major complications. I shall be eternally grateful to my mother, who flew in immediately upon hearing that I was in the hospital, too weak from all the puking in my first trimester; my husband who satisfied all my cravings throughout, and my mother-in-law who stayed with us during the last leg of my third trimester and fattened me up :D  I was loved and well taken care of,  pampered even, throughout my pregnancy, with all the yummilicious food! And the end-product: a super fat me 🙈 and a very cute baby 👶🏻. I'm blessed - Life's good! 

#AyuBabu - 💯 days of happiness & counting (Part 2)

Ayu turns 4 months today! 

And just yesterday he got the second dose of his shots. Walking around the paediatrician's clinic, seeing so many day-old infants, I looked at my little one and couldn't believe that once, he was that tiny too! I had to scroll up on my camera roll to remind myself of how he looked when he was a newborn baby!

Most of his snaps from then have his eyes shut in sweet slumber, now his big eyes twinkle with the spark of inquisitiveness and innocent joy. He was lean, and his head stood out; now his thighs have become muscular from his regular air-kicking and his cheeks chubbier. There was no inkling of a smile back then, and often there would even be a furrowed eyebrow-look and now, we could smile-talk all day! His movements were limited to his neck, flopping from one side to the other; now he uses his hands to grip onto the bamboo cloth he's lying on, when I pick him up, he carries it like his "Batman" cape, he uses the strength of his legs to push backward, and now while doing his push-ups, even rolls over. The eyes that couldn't focus back then, now light up when he sees familiar toys/people and he can even maintain an animated conversation with them. While I'm typing this out, he is in fact, making his shit-face intermittently and probably sharing tales from his night dreams to the blue and red patterns on the quilt. 

He's definitely grown and the speed at which that's happening - I'm finding hard to keep pace! And as time is flying, I realise we barely do anything to document his growth and development, save for clicking so many snaps every day, which until some weeks ago were being auto-saved onto the cloud but now even that is filled up! So, I'm still hunting for creative solutions for managing the thousands of photos that we've clicked so far. 

(Ok, I'm back after changing his poop-filled diaper - and he's engaged in his morning yoga now - he does the Snake Pose 'Bhujangasana' better than me!)

(Forgive me for losing my train of thought...)

In the meantime, life is happening...there are days, I still envisage it all right from the beginning. How at one point in time, he was just a product of fertilisation, when a half of my genes united with another half from my dear husband, and formed the helix, within which lay the power to design and produce a complete human being! It's miraculous if one would think about it - that the data which is to code for the colour of our hair, our skin, our iris, the length of our fingers, the shape of our nose, ears and well, everything else from head to toe, including genetic predisposition to diseases- is all stacked within that very microscopic structure - the DNA helix. 

And then I behold at the bonny baby in front of my eyes - unbelievable! To know that we created him from scratch- sometimes, my head spins at the thought! At other times, I'm just overwhelmed with a warm feeling, running through my veins, and filling my heart up. Research says a mother's brain changes post birth of her child, and it gets wired to nurture and take care of her infant - that's how nature bestows upon an unassuming woman(who 10 lunar months ago was waxing poetry at the sunset skyscape at Krabi, while having coffee-tequila shots!) the much-assumed-about 'maternal instinct'.

This instinct wakes me up in the middle of the night, at the stir of my baby. This instinct makes me stay up till early morning, rocking my baby to sleep. This instinct makes every mother believe that their baby is precious and is the cutest of them all. This instinct makes us give the baby our all, even when we can't sit on our freshly stitched bottoms, even when our backs and arms are sore, even when our heads are splitting and our eyes are red from the lack of sleep. We might be fighting many battles within and on the outside too, but when we pick our baby in our arms, we know only to cuddle and adore. This instinct shows us in the mirror a person we've never known existed within us. 

I get to type the last para while my husband takes over baby duty, while I get some me-time. I wonder how things will change once I head back to work, how I'll leave a piece of heart, back at home, everyday and get into the 'working mom' shoes. But those are questions for another day. Until I'm a 'stay at home mom', I'll enjoy and cherish every moment with him. I'll let the 'maternal instinct' take on first gear, and continue to do what I can do best - love him. 

#AyuBabu - 💯 days of happiness & counting (Part 1)

On the 4th of January, 2017, our little one completed 100days on Planet Earth.

As humbling and steep as the learning curve has been, it has been just as much fun! It's perhaps ironic that for a medico, I have a rather greying memory. So, I am quite particular about not just making memories, but also saving them in a form, I can revisit, whenever I'd like to. One would find me as an incessant photo-sharer on Facebook, some otherwise trivial moments may find themselves framed within the squares of Instagram. Closer to heart, and I would give them words, in the form of a couplet, or better still, a blogpost, like this one!

100 days have passed, and I'm certain with the overwhelming euphoria of Ayu discovering the world around him, and us uncovering the slightest changes in him, as he grows so fast - a lot of things will soon be forgotten! Hence, this. (I will be doing this in parts, for there are just so many things to share!)

Throughout this series, Ayaan Kamath Mazumdar, may you realise that you are and shall always be adored and loved. We are extremely fortunate, to have you in our lives. 

Day 0, zero hours

In the wee hours of the 26th of September, 2016, at 4.55am to be precise, you opened your tiny eyes, to see the world you were born into. They showed you to me, "A baby boy!" they exclaimed; you wailed as the cord was cut and my heart that was brimming with joy, sunk, as they took you away from me to clean you up, weigh you etc. For the first time that night, your father left my side; he couldn't get his eyes off you! You weighed 2920grams, in contrast to the 2500ish predicted so well done, atta boy! Despite being ridden over by exhaustion from a near 48hour labour, I couldn't wait until you were cuddled up in my arms.

Day 0, 2 hours 

The neonatalogist had cleared you and once, your breathing pattern was almost regular, you were allowed to curl up in my arms. I was amazed at how you latched on text-book perfectly, and had your first feed. A hungry baby, you fed for over half an hour - your first feed. I was internally very happy, that I was able to provide for you...and prayed that I could continue to do so. As we were wheeled to our room subsequently, your grandparents, rubbed their sleep-deprived eyes to catch a good sight of their precious grandchild. For us, you were God's invaluable gift, our little bundle of joy.

Day 0, 3 hours

Outside family, your Rachit uncle was the first to come visit you. He couldn't catch a glimpse, as you were carried away to the nursery just then, but he was kind enough to get us 'ChumChum', your mother's (my) favourite Bengali sweet at the time! 

Day 0, 7 hours

After a short stay at the nursery, you were brought into our room. Your father held you for the first time. And we took our first family photo together. The photo was subsequently shared with our friends and family. Most noticed your head full of hair, some wondered if it was a cap! Haha. I think your dad (who has male pattern baldness, running in the family) was relieved ;)

Day 0, 12 hours 

Our close friends and family came to visit you, and you were blissfully sleeping in oblivion. Some even came with gifts for you... Little did I know, that the shower of gifts and blessings was just beginning :)

Day 0, 16 hours

You had passed greenish black stools ('meconium' in medical jargon) twice by 9pm that night and passed urine many times already. Thanks to 'chromatography', diapers today come with wetness indicators, which is rather helpful to figure whether it's time to get your diaper changed. Especially for a sleep-deprived, first time mother like me, and your Mamama (maternal grandma) who was handling diapers for the first time in her life, we were indeed grateful to the nurses around, who demonstrated with such agile grace, on how to change you efficiently! Today, it's a left-hand job - but back then, we were still learning and so were you. 

Day 0, 21 hours

You were taken for your first bath, and until you were back safely where I could see your heaving self, I couldn't rest. Yes, we had paired safety bracelets on, which were to ring if you were ever taken out of the cordoned off zone - and it never did during our stay there; but becoming a mother fills one's veins with blood that boils far more easily I suppose, the heart beats at a faster rate, and for a usually anxious person like me, borderline obsessive even, it shouldn't come as a surprise that I was protective of you even when you were probably galaxies away from harm's way! Heehee

Day 0-1, 24 hours

I barely got any shut eye that first night - with the regular vitals check, more for me than you and well, thanks to the adrenaline rush too, I was wide awake to see you turn 1 day old. There you lay, swaddled so snugly, after yet another feed, so peaceful; I think I even imagined you sneer a smile my way. Our lives had changed, overnight. And you were living testimony that miracles do happen. After a while, my tired self must have dozed off as well, for I got up with a start, my eyes racing in the direction of your crib. You were right there, I stretched and touched you too, oh so lightly, and you opened your big yet tiny eyes, and looked right up. That's right, we are both not dreaming! Mwah! Welcome to this beautiful world, dear one! 

The Miracle - Kicks and Tickles

About three weeks into my second trimester, the throwing up stopped. And I slowly started mustering the courage to step out of the house. Earlier, a 10minute stroll at the park of the HDB we stayed at, would make me dizzy, and I would scurry home to find respite over the toilet bowl. But now, I was managing to sit for an entire movie in the theatre (yes, I'd be prudent and take the aisle seat, just in case I felt uneasy).

And so, over time, it turned out to be the best trimester ever. I was able to eat whatever I pleased. Well sadly, I didn't really have any major cravings throughout my pregnancy. During my first, one evening I craved for momos - but by the time, the husband plated them for me; the craving went puff!

 

Oh I did want mangoes and ice-cream (like in Salaam Namastey) late one evening - so we walked down to the 24hour neighbourhood store and picked these up and devoured some while watching an episode of Game of Thrones.

Alright! You may judge me for the choice of series I was watching. I'd watch Criminal Minds and Code Black etc. And I would be chided for watching "negative" stuff. I'd say - I work in the ER and I see accident victims and "blood" - now do I have to change my job so it wouldn't influence my unborn baby?! Honestly, I would prefer positive suggestions like what I could watch instead. Anyways, for the positivity dose, I was happy and trippy, laughing loads, going out on dates with my husband, catching up with friends and having fun at work too. I listened to good music and ate loads of good food! 

I even did some prenatal yoga with Lara Dutta and meditated to chants and guided meditations on the 'Art of Living' app. We even headed to the beach, and watched the sun set, while kids and dogs played around in the sand. Now baby, that's a fair bit of goodness don't you think? I didn't read you the 'Ramayana' or the 'Bible', but as you grow up, I intend to introduce you to the ever expanding universe of books - so initially we'll read you stories at bedtime and soon enough, you can read for yourself. Apologies if in the dark of the womb, the visuals you saw through my eye weren't necessarily pleasant, but well, welcome to the world little one - it isn't going to be all rosy alright - let's set our expectations right! (Rolls eyes)

Coming back, I had palpitations during my first trimester, so when they were pricking me for the sugar tests in the second trimester, I asked to test for my thyroid function too. Normal - phew! Oh and the glucose test, I had to drink up an ultra-sweet orange flavoured drink - I did and as expected, threw it all up within the next 10minutes. Sigh! - which meant I had to come some other day to re-do the test. Another off day to be spent in the hospital - damn! But alls well that ends well - A couple of weeks later, that came out normal too. Sometimes normal results can be such a relief I tell you! Walking day in day out amidst patients; normal seems uncommon! So I was glad the pregnancy so far was sans any complications :)

Which meant, we could still go on the long since planned family vacation with both sets of parents to Gold Coast, Australia! The excitement kicked in and my free time went in planning for the same. But more about that trip probably in another post, but for now let's just say, that was one fun-filled holiday and a well-deserved break, especially for Prantik and me! 

I was 20 weeks just before the trip and I still wasn't convinced I was feeling any fetal movements. Maybe knowing too much isn't really good in this case - and can even make one paranoid! Obstetrics is a whole subject in our final year of medical school and as an intern, having run antenatal clinics, conducted deliveries over a 4 month period, half of which was in a rural set-up; I was well-versed with the changes in pregnancy, the various milestones in terms of weeks, complications, what to be cautious about in my diet, the entire process of labour etc - even though I did buy into the fad and get a copy of "What to Expect when you are Expecting" on my Kindle - I didn't really read it... Anyways, back to my unborn baby! I was worried as a parent even before I became one. But I tried to remain practical to allay my fears and anxieties so I placed the ultrasound probe on myself, one evening, after my shift. And I could see that the placenta was right in front and well, the little one's heart was beating at a good rate and rhythm (I recorded a small video clip of the same, for memory) and well, there it was - our miracle - floating in the liquor, flinging his/her limbs, "kicking" alright - I probably didn't feel much, as they were being insulated by the placenta bam in front! 

And a few weeks later, I finally felt the little one move about, sometimes just a bit, as though teasingly tickling me and sometimes a flutter, oh so sweet! An effortless smile spreads on my fattening face and then nothing else matters - I know I've fallen, head over heels, in love with the little one - unborn, yet kicking alive, so close to my heart. The palpitations are because of the new love I know and when the little one kicks about in joy, my heart probably skips a beat! ❤️️

The Miracle - Fury Unfurls

Everything seemed normal, until at 9 weeks, the pregnancy hormones hit me with vengeance! To begin with, I had real bad gastric reflux, it was like my entire chest and throat were on fire, worse when I lay down and went to bed. But, I still managed to fall asleep, eventually. For pregnancy does leave you feeling fatigued, even if you didn't really do anything to get exhausted! 

But soon, I was puking, non-stop. It wasn't just morning sickness, for me it was worse in the evenings; and well, few days down, it was pretty much all day! I couldn't even hydrate myself enough some days :(

Like one morning, while at work, by a patient's bedside, I nearly blacked out onto his bed! :O And then, I was the patient, resting on a trolley, in my doctor-scrubs! My husband received his first "emergency" call and rushed from a meeting to the ED, to be by my side. Such episodes recurred and I was on sick leave, pretty much all week!

My blood pressure would be lower than normal, making it difficult to stand for too long; soon, I was too sick to get off the couch. I would mumble instructions from the living room, so my husband could stir up simple dinner for us, in the adjacent kitchen. My mum, worried sick herself, flew down to help me recuperate. She made my favourite food items, but I wouldn't be able to keep the ingested food down at all. Few minutes and I'd be hovering over the toilet bowl, emptying my guts out. It wasn't a pleasant sight at all. The husband even brought me my favourite waffles from R.O.D. but those too were thrown up in a few minutes :( The only thing I could tolerate was buttermilk, for some reason, not even juices! So, Pran would hoard cartons of those, in our refrigerator :)

Thankfully, the head of my department was considerate enough to let me take time off work; and I ended up using all my annual leave, to rest up that month. A foolish thing in hindsight - should have gotten to my doctor, she'd have given me a medical certificate/leave, and I would have saved my annual leave, but oh well, no point crying over spilt milk. 

In view of being in my first trimester (when traveling isn't highly recommended, for fear of miscarriage) and the sudden change in my health condition, we had to call off our travel plans. One was to Bali with my folks, to celebrate the younger brother's birthday - even though the booking on Agoda, was listed as non-refundable: upon being informed about the pregnancy, the guy on the customer service end, not only warmly congratulated my husband, but also made arrangements for a full refund. I must admit, that did win them a loyal customer, till the end of time! Thankfully, all the hotel bookings for the Greece trip were fully refundable as well. On the contrary, we lost $$$ on our Turkish airline tickets! Their customer service was shoddy - Sigh!

So that month, a part of me was in self-pity and disbelief, even! I didn't expect myself to be so down and out, that I'd become so dependent...sickness for weeks together can do that to one! Plus, the trips that I had to cancel, had been planned with much gusto, so having to let go wasn't easy either. So, a part of me was dejected infact.

But then, each day, I reminded myself of the miracle that had been conceived with love and the fact that I wasn't alone through these tough times! Pran, my dear husband, was always by my side; he would even spoon feed me - he was at my beck and call every minute, while balancing his work at the same time. My dear mother, who flew down to nurse me back to health; infused me with positivity and good cheer too. There were kind friends who offered to send home food for me; and colleagues who were so mindful of my fragile state and would urge me to take breaks often, and grab a bite or drink, during my shift.

For all the kindness bestowed upon me, I was and will be forever grateful.

Before these tough weeks, we had visited the temple to give thanks to the Almighty. And I knew that 'twas He, who looked after me during these rough times - he dropped angels in my life, time and again, to care for me and caress my mind and soul back to it's happy state. 

And yaay, about 6-7weeks later, my second trimester started, and I was back on my feet again, chirpy and all! :) 

The Miracle - with the racing heart ❤️

So from the day of the first scan, we were more conscious of days and weeks. Physically, nothing much had changed except for no periods (yaay!) and well, slightly heavier and tender breasts perhaps, thanks to the pregnancy hormones. So, life continued, pretty much as normal for the first 4 weeks atleast, since 5.2.16. 

I was working at the time, in one of the busiest Emergency Medicine departments in the country. Being central in location, it catered to a vast population and thus, the place was crowded, all the time! The trolleys were strewn around, and it wasn't easy to move between patients. But, I felt pretty much normal and continued to work as normal, with just as much zest, through my shifts.

And when not working, we caught up with friends and with the latest movies. Over brunch one weekend, we broke the news to our gang of friends. 

(i) We had made the downpayment on our new home-to-be.

(ii) I had made it to the residency programme.

(iii) Dipti is pregnant! (Whoa! What?!)

The elated husband even surprised me post night shift, to a staycation at Park Royal. We swam in the evening, in the infinity pool and had some yummy chicken rice at night, while watching TV from our king size bed. 

We focussed on making time for ourselves and  the tiny ball of cells, which was growing constantly and exponentially - from being the size of a sesame seed at 5weeks, to the size of a lentil, blueberry, kidney bean and a grape, at weeks 6,7,8 and 9 respectively. We went for morning/evening strolls, enjoying the pleasant breeze (also a Chinese New Year tradition for us) and we even ensured we meditated often, even if 'twas just before falling asleep, in our dark bedroom, lit only by the yellow moon above.

2 weeks after the first scan, we had our appointment at the government hospital. And the doppler scan did pick up the heartbeat this time - which meant 'twas a viable pregnancy. Medical jargon aside, if all went well, we'd be parents in another 30 odd weeks! But the wonder of the world, was the sound of the little one's racing heartbeat ❤️ And even when we look back, the thought that the two of us made another, from scratch, is still incredible. The wonders of nature are indeed unbelievably beautiful, to say the least.